Footnotes on "Footnotes for 4:44," with a cup of Lemonade.
July 24, 2017
Every woman should watch "'Footnotes for 4:44". (Hear me out)
I just finished and I will admit, I learned a lot about how the male psyche works. As a mum raising three soon to be men, I must learn to honor them fully and that's accepting-they don't think, feel or comprehend in the ways, I do as a woman. This is hard to acknowledge and admit- but there are some things I'm just not gonna get---but I want them to "get it."
I must acknowledge and accept the fact that they aren't perfect beings walking this earth even though, I have mad Goddess-mothering-skills.
Or because- I'm a great communicator, loverhomiefriend who has da best 🌊🌊in town.
I must recognize that they will in some way disappoint me. It is in those moments, I must practice patience and give them grace. I must remember there are going to be times when I'm going to disappoint them. And, I would like grace and patience in return.
This doesn't just apply to my 3 boys but this also applies to ANY relationship that I have with any man-most important, the one I have with the Beau.
Acknowledging this doesn't make me less independent nor weak- it's makes me human. It's making sure that my relationship with them is priority. I want my boys and the Beau to feel safe being themselves with me-safe with their entire being!
I want them to know that they can share their thoughts, emotions and disappointments with me. That I won't judge them but I'll be a listening and loving ear. #nojudgement
Which in turn, will make me feel safe with them emotionally and mentally. I want them to know that I will have their backs-even when they FUCK up.
Maybe 🤞this will propel them (in those moments) to "look in the mirror, and say, Man, I'm not on my A-game." Let me upgrade you, boo!!!
This journey,however, is for those men and women that have gone through some form of maturation period. This type of love, adoration and respect is not for the weak or the faint of heart.
It makes me think of my relationship with God, actually.
We all are rebellious and defensive because we all have some ish to work through!
As women, we must acknowledge and respect our healing processes too. If you're still fawning over Jerry don't expect Shawn to measure up! He won't! You're playing the comparison game. Which isn't cool! Use that Black Girl Magic 💫 for good and not evil.
I admire Beyoncé for respecting her marriage and loving her husband enough to not give up on him. That takes courage and bravery especially in the public eye. Kudos!
Listening to them together- Lemonade and 4:44 taught me that- love, forgiveness and redemption are on the other side of brokenness.
In the words of the beautifully talented Sade, "Love is stronger than pride."
Be the light! Live in the Light! Spread the Light.